Lesson notes, exercises, downloads, and recommended reading are below the video. On mobile, the video will rescale when you play it.


Matching & Mirroring: How to Influence by Building Rapport

In a way, Rapport is an example of Reciprocation – which we looked at in the last video. However, it is about the reciprocation of movement and posture, gesture and expression, and words and speech.

And, it will introduce us to the key concepts of matching and mirroring.

Watching this video is worth 4 Management Courses CPD Points*.
🔎 See below for details

Influencing and Persuading
This video is part of course module number 2.6.1
Program 2: Manager as Communicator
Course 6: Influencing and Persuading
Section 1: Basics of Influence and Persuasion

Other videos in this section include:
🎬 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Influence and Persuasion https://youtu.be/V6yNgVVCAl8
🎬 The Core of Influence & Persuasion: Ethos, Logos, and Pathos – Character, Reason, and Emotion https://youtu.be/GV0TGdhc1kw
🎬 Ethos: Importance of Character in Influence & Persuasion https://youtu.be/QRlhd9hJm_s
🎬 Appearance Matters in Influence & Persuasion https://youtu.be/lSyAf9Htr7A
🎬 How to Influence by Making People Feel Good https://youtu.be/Ry7YVyCQE9c
🎬 How to Use Your Authority to Influence & Persuade https://youtu.be/NpiPqZYt0vM
🎬 How to Build Trust. And Why it Matters https://youtu.be/88UfnxnZWTc
🎬 How to Use Reason and Logic https://youtu.be/dzyu8ApJ-_c
🎬 How to Influence People by Appealing to their Emotion https://youtu.be/yOFsPPgrS30
🎬 Tit-for-Tat: How to Influence with Reciprocation https://youtu.be/x9h-rEvfyrs
🎬 KISS: Keep It Short & Simple when You Want to Influence & Persuade https://youtu.be/4mQZoX-wT28

= = LESSON NOTES = =
Rapport is a relationship between people, that is based on trust, liking, and a feeling that they understand each other. Rapport starts with a sincere interest in each other.

FROGS:
• Friends and relations
• Reading and viewing
• Organizations
• Geography
• Social and Sports

There are three consistent sources of similarity that we can emphasize:
1. Body Language
2. Speech patterns
3. What we say
When we match some of these to what the other person is doing, it accelerates rapport building

Modalities are the words that link to our senses:
• Visual
• Auditory
• Bodily
• Smell
• Taste
• Non-sensory, or data-heavy

Matching and Mirroring
Matching is when you do the same as me.
Mirroring is when you do the opposite. I would see, if I saw myself in a mirror. As a result, mirroring feels a lot more intimate.

= = RECOMMENDED EXERCISE = =
1. Over the 1st week, start to match some of your body language to the people around you. At the end of the week, reflect on what you have learned. (2 MC CPD Points)
2. Over the 2nd week, continue matching some of your body language to the people around you. Now, also start to match some of their speech patterns. At the end of the week, reflect on what you have learned. (2 MC CPD Points)
3. Over the 3rd week, continue matching some of your body language and speech patterns to the people around you. Now, also start to match some of the things they say. At the end of the week, reflect on what you have learned. (2 MC CPD Points)

= = DOWNLOADS = =
Free Resources
🧰 CPD Tools – https://gum.co/MC-CPD
Paid resources
🧳 Management Courses Onboarding Kit – https://gum.co/MC-ObK ($3)

= = RECOMMENDED READING = =
📖 My own book on Influence (introductory level)
– How to Influence in Any Situation (Brilliant Influence 2nd Ed) https://geni.us/dAS7
📖 Excellent books at a more advanced level
– Influence: Science and Practice (a classic) https://geni.us/DIX0kFL
– Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change https://geni.us/3nBJM
– The Influence Agenda (for Stakeholder Engagement) https://geni.us/InfAg
– Methods of Persuasion https://geni.us/EVYP
– Presuasion https://geni.us/aBZo0XO
– 5 Paths to Persuasion https://geni.us/Vg2vB

⭕️ Links to our book recommendations are affiliated through Amazon

Managers Need a Basic set of kit to do your job well. Here are my top recommendations: https://kit.co/MikeClayton/manager-s-work-kit (the links are affiliated)

= = MANAGEMENT COURSES CONTINUING PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT (CPD) POINTS = =
You can record your Management Courses CPD points on our free, downloadable CPD record log.
📓 Download it at: https://gum.co/MC-CPD
Each video has two levels of MC CPD points. For this video:
– If you simply watched the video, record 4 MC CPD points
– If you also carried out all of the recommended exercises, score a total of 10 MC CPD points

00:00 – Key Concepts: Rapport, and Matching & Mirroring
00:31 – Rapport Definition
00:45 – Rapport starts with a sincere interest
01:01 – Looking for things we have in common
01:52 – FROGS
02:43 – Rapport and clothing/dress
03:16 – More ways to build rapport
03:40 – Body language and rapport
05:24 – Speech patterns and rapport
06:39 – What we say – our words – and rapport
09:24 – Matching and Mirroring
11:14 – Practice rapport-building

#influence #ManagementCourses #rapport

source

WIIFM? How to Use Self-interest to Influence and Persuade
Forgiveness: How to Get Forgiven
How to Change Someone’s Mind
Get a Favor: How to Get Someone to Help you or Do You a Favor
How to Win an Argument
Social Proof: Recruiting Support for Your Verbal Persuasion
Help them Persuade Themselves: the Influence of Questions
Persuasive Language: How to Influence with the Words You Choose
Rhetoric: The Golden Key to Verbal Persuasion
KISS: Keep It Short & Simple when You Want to Influence & Persuade
Tit-for-Tat: How to Influence with Reciprocation
How to Influence People by Appealing to their Emotion
How to Use Reason and Logic in Influence & Persuasion
How to Build Trust. And Why it Matters in Influence & Persuasion
How to Use Your Authority to Influence and Persuade
How to Influence by Making People Feel Good
Appearance Matters in Influence & Persuasion
Ethos: the Importance of Character in Influence & Persuasion
The Core of Influence & Persuasion: Ethos, Logos, and Pathos – Character, Reason, and Emotion
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: the Ethics of Influence and Persuasion

Mike Clayton

About Mike Clayton 

Dr Mike Clayton is a (former) Project Manager and now a management educator. Having trained thousands of people at live workshops, seminars, and conferences, he now delivers training mainly via video. He has 14 books with international publishers and runs two successful YouTube channels. He is also the founder of OnlinePMCourses.com

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