Lesson notes, exercises, downloads, and recommended reading are below the video. On mobile, the video will rescale when you play it.

NLP Perceptual Positions: Putting Yourself in Another Person’s Place

We sometimes use the phrase, ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’. Well, NLP has a helpful technique that helps you do just that… and more. It’s called Perceptual Positions.

Watching this video is worth 2 Management Courses CPD Points*.
🔎 See below for details

This video is part of course module 2.9.2
Program 2: Manager as Communicator
Course 9: NLP
Section 2: Understanding People

Dr Mike Clayton has been an NLP Master Practitioner since 2003.

Other videos in this section include:
🎬 NLP Eye Accessing Cues: WTF? https://youtu.be/wW9xJe_y7DE
🎬 NLP Meta Programs: How we See the World https://youtu.be/hhTVdu4QU8o
🎬 NLP Meta Model: Precision Questioning and Listening https://youtu.be/zoGXclrfvUY

John Grinder and Judith Delozier modeled negotiators’ approaches and discovered three primary perspectives we can take, which they labeled first, second, and third position.

First Position: Your own shoes
To appreciate what is important to you, and to get in touch with your own feelings about a situation.

Second Position: Their shoes
To see the world through the other person’s eyes, to get a sense of how they read the situation and what is important to them.

Third Position: Objective observer
A chance to see things as a neutral observer would see them.

adopting all three perceptual positions in sequence can give you a broader and far clearer understanding of a situation.

1. Put yourself in your own shoes and see what you are seeing, hear what you are hearing, and feel what you are feeling.
2. Now, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see what they are seeing, hear what they are hearing, and feel what they are feeling.
This will be even more powerful if you sit or stand opposite where you were in step 1, or where the other person may sit or stand.
3. Now take the position of a detached observer. Ideally sit or stand in a position where you could see both yourself and the other person, from steps 1 and 2. What do you see? What do you hear? How are they interacting? What do you notice? What are their hopes and aspirations? And what are they hiding?
4. Now return to your own shoes (and physical position). How do you feel now? And what have you learned?

1. Next time you want to understand a situation or prepare for a difficult conversation or negotiation, use the Perceptual Positions exercise. (2 MC CPD Points)
2. After the exercise, also reflect on how it worked for you and how you can make it more effective for you next time. (2 MC CPD Points)

📖 For a full transcript of this course, download our low cost Kindle-exclusive eBook, NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming: A Management Courses Introduction – https://geni.us/VGhsNQ
Free Resources
🧰 CPD Tools – https://gum.co/MC-CPD
Paid resources
🧳 Management Courses Onboarding Kit – https://gum.co/MC-ObK ($3)

There are many books that introduce NLP. These are the ones I have, and can recommend:
📖 NLP Workbook: A Practical Guide To Achieving The Results You Want https://geni.us/LNhW
📖 NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes the Difference https://geni.us/we84
📖 Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People https://geni.us/H3VneOh

⭕️ Links to our book recommendations are affiliated through Amazon and help support our free videos

Managers Need a Basic set of kit to do your job well. Here are my top recommendations: https://kit.co/MikeClayton/manager-s-work-kit (the links are affiliated)

You can record your Management Courses CPD points on our free, downloadable CPD record log.
📓 Download it at: https://gum.co/MC-CPD
Each video has two levels of MC CPD points. For this video:
– If you simply watched the video, record 2 MC CPD points
– If you also carried out all of the recommended exercises, score a total of 6 MC CPD points


00:00 – Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
00:24 – Modelling what the most effective negotiators do
00:55 – First Position
01:30 – Second Position
02:42 – Third Position
03:46 – The Perceptual Positions exercise
04:13 – Step 1
04:50 – Step 2
05:29 – Kinesthetic Perceptual Positions exercise
06:03 – Step 3
07:09 – Step 4
07:27 – Conclusion: Perceptual Positions

#ManagementCourses #NLP #PerceptualPositions


The Disney Creativity Strategy: The NLP Way to Test Ideas
What is NLP Modelling? And How do we to Do it?
NLP Reframing: Seeing the World in a Different Way
NLP Time Line Therapy: What are Time Lines?
NLP & Hypnosis: What is the Milton Model?
NLP Goal-setting: Well-formed Outcomes
NLP Change Work: How Does NLP Go about Changing People?
NLP Meta Model: Precision Questioning and Listening
NLP Meta Programs: How we See the World
NLP Eye Accessing Cues: WTF?
NLP Filters: How we Interpret the World around us
The NLP Approach to Rapport Building
NLP’s Logical Levels of Change: (aka Neurological Levels)
NLP Presuppositions: Explained!
What is NLP? Neuro Linguistic Programming

Mike Clayton

About Mike Clayton 

Dr Mike Clayton is a (former) Project Manager and now a management educator. Having trained thousands of people at live workshops, seminars, and conferences, he now delivers training mainly via video. He has 14 books with international publishers and runs two successful YouTube channels. He is also the founder of OnlinePMCourses.com

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